Saturday, October 10, 2009

What do You Hate? Poll -- Week II

Week II, Antipathy Time

Poll II

Please take a second to vote in our weekly poll on the right hand column of the Holy Blog.

Which do you hate most?
  • The Tooth Fairy
  • The Easter Bunny
  • Santa Claus
  • Jesus Christ
Clarification: Voting for the Messiah is not considered an unforgivable sin.  In fact, Luke even encourages it. (Lk 12:10)   So, My Children, vote your informed conscience.

Sunday Confessional Exposed

I am starting a new practice tomorrow in lieu of my daily hate purge and love fast.  You may think I’m copping out, but I’m not.  There is precedence in catholic tradition for what I’m about to do.  My Doubtful Children, trust me.  I have history on my side.   I’m merely following the widely practiced Lenten copout of not fasting on Sundays. 
You see, during Lent (a liturgical season of fasting in the weeks preceding Easter), Catholics everywhere give up chocolate, television, swearing, gossip, and Wii in order to purify their souls, make room for Jesus, and to join their suffering with the starving non-believers in Third World nations.  But on Sunday, fasting is forbidden (even during Lent!), because every Sunday is a mini-Easter, a day of celebration and not fasting.  Jesus would approve, as he hated fasting. (Mt 9:14, Mk 2:18, Lk 5:33)
Henceforth, instead of my daily hate purge/love fast posting, on Sundays I will go to confession with Father Hate, the Gospel According to Hate's official spiritual director.  Thereby, I will honor another catholic tradition: going to confession before Sunday communion.  These confessions will center around my adherence to the mission of The Gospel According to Hate

Tune in tomorrow for Ht. Tom’s first confession.

I Hate Incivility

             Whatever happened to fair dealing, and pure ethics and nice manners? Why is it everyone now is a pain in the ass? Whatever happened to class?
             –“Class” from Chicago

            The Super Husband Extraordinaire (SHE) and I were stuck on the 10 eastbound through downtown L.A. yesterday at three in the afternoon.  SHE’s friend in Arrowhead insisted we drive out on Friday instead of Saturday morning.  Big mistake.  I turned on the “news, traffic and weather together” radio channel hoping for word of an alternate route.  The minivan in front of me pulled onto an exit ramp.  Naturally, I pulled forward, as traffic is prone to do.  The minivan changed its mind and swerved off the exit ramp and was coming directly at us.  I laid on the horn and slammed the brakes.  We screeched to a stop, the minivan missing us by less than a foot and the minivan driver’s middle finger out the window pointed at me for something he’d done.  Whatever happened to class?
            The traffic report on the radio gave way to the exciting news that President Obama had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.  After a ten second sound bite of the president’s response, the news report played not one, not two, not three, not four, but five minutes worth of Republicans’ comments tearing apart Nobel’s decision and President Obama’s accomplishments.  Whatever happened to class?
            On Thursday night at a Democratic Party fundraiser in San Francisco, Governor (yes, I will give him the respect of calling him that since he won two elections) Schwarzenegger made a cameo appearance.  The crowd erupted into non-stop shouts of “kiss my ass” and “liar.”  Schwarzenegger made the comment, “I sleep with a Democrat every night.”  More shouts and boos.  State Assemblyman Tom Ammiano responded:  “I’ve slept with a lot of fucking Democrats.  Helloooooooo!”  Whatever happened to class?
            During a press briefing, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid inappropriately touches Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.  Whatever happened to class?
            Republicans on the far right, celebrate Chicago’s failed bid for the Olympics and the loss of American jobs and revenue.  Whatever happened to class?
            Kanye West interrupts Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech.  Whatever happened to class?
Joe Wilson shouts at the President of the United States during the president’s address to a joint session of congress.  Whatever happened to class?
             A U.S. troop throws a puppy off cliff and says he did it because he was “being retarded.”  Whatever happened to class?
            What a shame!  What a shame.  What became of class?