Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I Hate People that Name Drop

Don’t you hate it when people drop names like Amy Ryan, Stephiana Bell, or Megan Williams just to get attention? Or how about when people bring up topics like the Brooke Hundley Pictures, the Steve Phillips Scandal, and Marni Phillips’ photo just because it’s what everyone is talking about on the internet?

It’s annoying and smells like rat cheese.

I wish people like that would step on a Scottish thistle or have to suffer an eternity tied to the speakers of the Bayou Country Superfest. Just picture them being hit by the meteor shower last night, losing all their money at First Republic Bank, or getting their asses kicked my Laila Ali.

And when couples sell out together, I fucking lose it. I turn into an onionmaniac. I want to stuff my NFL week 7 picks up their asses or force them to spend hours thinking of Halloween costume ideas for couples.

Personally, I think they should be forced to wear Jeff Fisher’s Peyton Manning jersey or matching balloon boy costumes. Maybe they’d get sucked up into the air and experience phosphoglycerol dehydration or at least end up getting evicted like a 6 year old.

Name droppers suck.

They need to Bring Change 2 Mind, embrace the secret of Isaiah Thomas, Ahman Green, and Joseph Wiseman, actor, or they will suffer the fate of going missing since the 80s like Andie MacDowell and Bronson Pinchot and spend their Halloween alone in Florida with their Nook eReader, Pioneer BDP-121, or even worse, with Harold Reynolds and the Fuel Girls.

If you wonder, what the hell this post was about, check out Google Trends, and the ways that name dropping can boost visits to your site.
And a special thanks to Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Tom Cruise, President Barrack Obama, Tiger Woods, Brett Favre, Alex Rodriguez and the Yankees, Rush Limbaugh, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, FOX News, MSNBC, Jesus Christ, Pope Benedict XVI, Cardinal Law, Cookie Johnson Jeans (CJ Jeans), and Mickey Mouse.

In memory of Michael Jackson.