Wednesday, January 27, 2010

And the Beat Goes on...

Radio Netherlands Worldwide reports:
     "Homosexuality is not the same as normal sex in the same way that anorexia is not a normal appetite," says the new Archbishop of Belgium.
     Archbishop L矇onard's comments were made in an interview with a Belgian television station. He added that he would "never call anorexia patients abnormal."
     A few years ago, when he was serving as Bishop of Namen, he caused a storm of controversy when he said that homosexuality was abnormal. Last week Pope Benedict XVI named him as the successor to Archbishop Daniels.

What to say in response to that?  Catholic clerics have already told us gays that we're going to hell.  The Rick Warrens, Anita Bryants, and Proposition 8 supporters of the world have taken the pastime of equating homosexuality with pedophilia, incest, and bestiality and ontologically transformed it into a political fetish and fund-raising Avatar.  We homos are used to the name-calling, so why not add eating disorders to the mix?  Make homosexuality a behavioral addiction!

Well sorry, Archy Leo, but you are so last century.

In seminary, I learned all about how sin is addiction.  I was formed to treat my sexual energy, which was supposedly created in god's image and given to me as a divine gift, like it was an addiction.  If I had a sexual thought that I couldn't shake (figuratively and literally), I was counseled to first acknowledge its existence, because as one of my professors warned me: "You're only as sick as your secrets."  I thought he was so wise, so deep.  It wasn't until a few years later that I realized he was a plagiarist and probably a recovered alcoholic, who had taken his Twelve Step theology and projected it onto his celibate delusion

For many celibates, sexual energy has to be treated as an addiction, for it's a slippery slope: a passing attraction, a slip of the eye, a random sexual thought, focusing on the sexy thought, fantasizing about the thought, erection, multiple fantasies, cascades of erections, animal gravity wrestling one’s hands South, masturbation, random, uncontrollable, addictive gay sex, AIDS, death, and an eternity in hell!

But still, I was assured that to have a mere sexual thought was okay, because who can control a thought or an urge coming into their consciousness?

But to dwell, indulge, or (dog forbid) act upon it was sinful.  So, the first thing  that I was prescribed to do was to diffuse the thought or attraction by taking it to prayer, to offer it up to god, which I did, and which always failed, except for the times that I ended up jacking off while praying. 

When I was really pent-up and hadn't masturbated for a month, something else bubbled up from my sulfuric testosterone tar pits.  The gift of my vivid imagination began to reward me with visions, very sensual, communal, and holy interactions within the spirit of prayer, and I experienced what some call "spiritual ecstasy," a.k.a. a spontaneous orgasm or at least a prolonged edging brought on by prayerful indulgence in ones spiritual/sexual appetites. 

And, it was okay!—because I was meditating over god, heaven, communion, etc.  After all, Saints Theresa and John of the Cross experienced ecstasy, so these non-touch orgasms had to be of god, not my own self-indulgence.  During this period of blessed ecstasy, I prayed for hours a day, not to satisfy my own sexual appetite, of course, but for the salvation of the world and for deeper communion with god in my prayer.

And that, according to Archy Leo, Pope Ben, and Catholic moralists around the world, is normal.