Friday, February 12, 2010

Traditional Wedding Bells Are Ringing

     All across our great Christian white Protestant nation, where all people, women and (straight, white, upper class, Christian) men  are created equal, a new breed of protest has been born.  We homos are tired of being put down and told that our lifelong, committed and loving relationships aren't worthy of civil marriage and its legal protections, because some stranger's god said we couldn't.  

     The simple legal truth is that civil marriage is not sacramental, religious, holy, biblical, or whatever the Christian Right's catch-phrase of the day is.  

     In order to show how ridiculous the religious claims of  biblically based civil marriage are, some angry same sex couples are taking to the marriage offices with their partners.  When denied a god-given civil marriage license because of their common genitalia, these rejected and equal American citizens are marrying complete strangers in protest.  COMPLETE STRANGERS!  Anyone in the crowd will do, as long as he/she has the proper biblically-based plumbing.

     On Wednesday, Pink BFLO reported:
   In an act of civil-sorta-disobedience, local LGBT activist Kitty Lambert received a marriage license to a stranger named Ed at Buffalo’s City Hall today, after being denied a license to marry her same-sex partner.
     It did not matter that Kitty and her female partner love each other, share property, have five children and twelve grandchildren, have lived together for years in a committed relationship, and may even share the same religious beliefs (the question of which never came up during the biblically sanctioned civil process).  What mattered is that Ed, a complete stranger, had $40 dollars and a penis.  With that, the two strangers, male and female, could get their biblically based marriage license, because that's god's will.

     Watch the video here:

     Far to the South in sunny Florida, traditional wedding bells are ringing! 

     At 3PM local time today, acclaimed performance artist Brian Feldman will marry a complete stranger with biblical boobs and a virginal vagina.  Who are we kidding?  One no longer needs to be a virgin to get married, though the stoning-crazed bible tells us so.  Watch the video below to see how the future Mrs. Brian Feldman was chosen from among three unknown vaginas before applying for the biblically based marriage license earlier this week.

     Is this entire project a mockery of marriage? Not at all! It’s completely within the legal rights of Brian and any other heterosexual couple with $123.50 (plus $6 for a standard marriage certificate). Sound absurd? Not nearly absurd as denying the equal right to marry for same-sex couples who truly care about each other; who’ve been in committed, productive and, most importantly, loving relationships for upwards of 20+ years. That, to Brian, and millions of Americans who believe in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality, is truly absurd - to say nothing of a civil injustice.
    According to Brian's website:
     In lieu of wedding gifts, Brian asks that you please make a donation to Equality Florida, a statewide education and advocacy organization dedicated to eliminating discrimination based on sexual orientation, race, gender and class.
    Here's the video of how Brian selected his biblically based fiance from a group of three vagina-bearing strangers.