Showing posts with label Crucifixion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crucifixion. Show all posts

Friday, June 25, 2010

Dominican Priest Wants to Destroy Religious Artwork Because He Thinks It Looks Gay

     A new iconoclasm has blossomed in the Catholic Church.  The Church that has blamed its priest/pedophile scandal on gays and the cover-up by popes/bishops on the evil media is now taking its homophobia to new lows, directing its ire at something that can't fight back: art.

Does my gay religious ecstasy make me look gay?
     The Digital Journal reports:
     A Catholic priest at a Dominican Republic resort town wants to destroy artwork in his parish because the painting shows angels with “a homosexual expression.” This confuses the faithful, he argues.
     The painting named "Allegory of the Virgin of Carmen," was concluded 12 years ago by Dominican artist Roberto Flores. The artwork adorns the interior of the church of “Our Lady of Carmen” in the mountain community of Jarabacoa, an agricultural and tourist center located in the Dominican Republic.
     The priest Johnny Duran sparked the controversy surrounding the painting, after promoting the adoption by the Jarabacoa City Council of a resolution that revokes an earlier statement by the same council that designated the mural as municipal heritage. Explaining his reason to to revoke the previous decision and destroy the mural, the priest argues that the church congregation feels uncomfortable by the painting and that the mural does not inspire religious sentiments because the angels there depicted have a “diabolical, homosexual look” in their faces.  Further, he contends that it is not clear whether the angels are male or female.
     Father Johnny Duran, needs a lesson in Catholic mythology.  Angels are are neither male nor female, some argue they are sexless.  They aren't supposed to look male or female, you ignorant moron.

     Some other works of art at risk of being destroyed for their gayness include:

All works by Michaelangelo, starting with the Sistine Chapel
Adam pulls more than just god's finger.

Any artwork of Jesus and the "disciple whom he loved"

All artwork of saints in ecstasy

Anything with cherubs

All portrayals of Jesus with long curly hair and/or with children

All portrayals of sacraments that hint at fellatio

Everything religious ever painted by Leonardo Di Vinci, including:
John the Baptist
The Last Supper 
How diabolical looking are these guys?

Tipped by Joe.My.God

Friday, April 16, 2010

Jesus' Phallic Abs, Oklahomans Condemn Catholic Icon, San Damiano Crucifix

     Why are Catholics so obsessed with dick?  If it's not the worldwide sexual abuse scandal, it's Pope Benedict's visit to Malta.

     Now the parishioners of St. Charles Borromeo want into the phallic mix, claiming that a religious artist in Warr Acres, Oklahoma, has gone too far in her depiction of Jesus' distended abdomen in a San Damiano crucifix.  

     These eyes-on-the-cock parishioners look at their savior hanging on the beautiful cross, but their perverted eyes can't see past his abs, which they claim are a giant cock and balls.   They can't concentrate on the "Body of Christ" in the communion wafer, because they are distracted by the king in all his glory over the altar.

      NewsOK reports:
      Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis covering Jesus’ abdominal area. [Fr. James] Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus’ abdomen "showing distension” — not a penis.   Seeton said, "I’ve had people who have vocally said that that’s what they see there. I’ve had people who have been just as vocal who said that’s not what they’re seeing there.”
     Janet Jaime, a local iconography artist who designed the crucifix, had no comment. "I think it was painted according to the certain specific rules of iconography and church art,” Seeton said of the crucifix.
     Ms. Jaime really did follow "specific rules of iconography" in order to get the circumference of the shaft and the girth of the balls just right.

Do you see what I see?

     The crucifix in question is a San Damiano cross, a common Catholic icon that originated in Italy in the 12th century and is widely associated with St. Francis of Assisi and the order he founded, the Franciscans. The original cross is in Assisi, Italy. The San Damiano cross is considered an icon because it depicts biblical figures. The crucifix hanging at St. Charles Borromeo resembles other San Damiano crucifixes except for Jesus’ abdominal area, which is noticeably more pronounced than on similar crucifixes.
     Just how "noticeably more pronounced" are Jesus penis-abdominals in the Warr Acres Christ? 

     Here are just a few examples of the artistic Catholic tradition of the San Damiano cross.  It appears that there is a centuries old tradition of Jesus' anatomy gone awry. 

Click to enlarge.
Lift high the cock.
The balls of Christ proclaim.
'Till all the world proclaim his sacred shame!

Warr Acres cross is from OKNews.
Other crosses from Wikemedia Commons
Thank you to Towleroad for unearthing this story.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

No Maltese Dick for Pope Benedict! Mayor of Luqa, Malta, Pleads

     Pope Benedict XVI is visiting Malta, and all sorts of sordid discussions are taking place before his arrival.  One involves art, male genitalia, and an ancient Egyptian symbol that predate the Catholic Church (another, Hitler mustaches and Pedobear).

     BBC News reports:
     The mayor of a town in Malta has called for a "phallic" sculpture displayed close to the main airport to be removed ahead of the Pope's visit this weekend. Mayor John Schembri described the art work as "vulgar" and "embarrassing", saying it should go "as a sign of respect" for Pope Benedict XVI.
     Colonna Mediterranea was created by artist Paul Vella Critien and has been on show in the town of Luqa since 2006. Mr Critien responded by calling his critics "ignorant" and "uneducated". Mr Critien said his creation was not a phallic symbol but a modern representation of a symbol dating back to ancient Egypt.  [BBC photo to the left]
bloody crucifix Pictures, Images and Photos     As if the pope has never seen a cock before.  Please.  Give it a rest, Mayor Schembri.  Respect the pope by acknowledging that he's got a crosier and censer dangling between his legs, as tiny as they might be and even though the embers may have burnt out.

     Pope Ratzinger's probably got a poster of The Little Mermaid over the papal bed, right next to a naked, muscular, sweaty, and bloody Jesus hanging on an instrument of erotic torture.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Good Friday Candy: Take This Body and Eat It

     What happened when the Easter Bunny attempted to usurp Good Friday

     No, not chocolate covered communion wafers.

     The Easter Bunny delivered Good Friday candy, like this edible chocolate crucified Jesus that gives new pleasure to obeying the command to eat his body

     Beware!  Whoever gets a nail in their slice has to do the dishes.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Easter Violence: Cat Crucified in Geneseo, Illinois

     Where would someone get the idea to nail a cat to a telephone pole?  As the old songs says: "You must be carefully taught."       

     In the midst of the Christian celebration of the crucifixion and alleged resurrection of Jesus last weekend, someone in rural Illinois, outside of Geneseo, not far from where I grew up, crucified a cat.  We're not talking violence against Easter candy, but an actually living, defenseless cat being nailed to wooden pole.

       The Quad City Times reports:
     Geneseo resident Andrea Bristol said she discovered the cat "hanging face down just by one foot," on Ropp Road about 5 p.m. Monday, on her way home from work.  At first, she thought it was a raccoon climbing down the pole, but"something just didn't seem right,"Ms. Bristol said.  She stopped and found the gray cat with a nail through a hind paw. It was bleeding and had patches of fur missing. "It just made me sick to my stomach," she said.  She thought the cat was dead until she heard a faint wheezing noise and then called theHenry County Sheriff's Department. An animal control officer took the cat to Miller Veterinary Service in Atkinson.

     In this news report by WQAD 8 the beaten and tortured feline, left to die, is given a 50/50 chance of recovery.  Happy Easter!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Using the Cross of Jesus

     Everybody does it, the right, the left. 

     How can the death of this simple man on a cross two thousand years ago be used to Christians' political advantage?  That is both a contemporary and historical question.

     What hypocrisy!